Yes to Friendship

There's a whole bunch of things that I'm pretty terrible at in life. Sports, politics, foreign languages, bundt cakes.... the list is endless. But there are some things I like to think that I have absolutely mastered, making me the expert. One of those things is friendship. 

I LOVE friendship. Shoot to the moon, into the stars, love love love it. I am at the point in my life where I can really see the truth, value, and rarity of true friendship, and know it is no light gift. It should be treated as gold. 

In this past year at college, I learned a lot about friendship. (sidenote: how many times am I going to say "in this past year at college, I learned a lot about...."? too many times)

 I realized how much I had taken for granted my best friends in high school.

 I realized that friendship is not a given right, it is an absolute privilege. 

I also realized how the right people will come into your life for the right season. 

I realized that the best way to cultivate deep friendship is by laying it all out there, being truly vulnerable.

I learned that the same issues with people happen, wherever you go. 

I realized it's ok not to please everyone, as long as you are happy.

I realized that you don't need to apologize for honesty.

I realized I need my people.

I like to think of life as a balancing act, sort of like Jenga. Several blocks make up the structure, each a piece to maintaining the peace. I have the ability of choosing what each block is and its importance to the structure. For me, one of the key foundation blocks is unconditional friendship.

Lucky for me, the foundation has always remained.

In high school, I had the best group of friends in the whole world. I often think of our memories, but I also often only think of the good times. I talk about 5eva a lot, but you must know, before 5eva, there was more to the group.

I know some people hate “group” friendships, but that’s just the way things work, and honestly, I love having my group. I’m not at all opposed to having friends outside the “group” but I loved having my family, my home base, the people I could always come back to.

Anyways, our group changed drastically from freshman year to senior year. Freshman year, our group was much larger. We were all girls just entering high school, excited for what was to come, but also clueless. The friendships were superficial, as we were trying to become ourselves, but also become a friend. Insecurity was potent, but not abnormal for our age. By the end of the year, our group had decreased, comfortably.

Sophomore year was a big transition year for me as I said adios to my childhood best friend with quite the sting to the heart. But I was also so comfortable with some of the girls from freshman year that I leaned on them for support, and they loved me when I needed it most.

Junior year, we had really developed our solid group of friends. It was so convenient, and I really did enjoy each girl and their presence in my life.

Senior year, everyone did some growing, and 5eva truly evolved as just the 5 of us. This friendship was deep and real. We got to be closer than ever and held on to each other and each moment as we anticipated the big change that was about to happen.  

There were hiccups along the way, as happens with any friendship, relationship, interaction with other people. But in the end, the drama was minimal and natural.  I had my people, my group, my foundation.

Then came college.

No song truly captures the essence of college better than “22” by Taylor Swift.

Happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.

T God for going to the same college as my best friend.

First semester was rough as heck. I was happy (or at least I kept convincing myself I was), but I so craved the friendship that I had had in high school. I wanted to have my people. I kept reassuring myself I would find them, and that my happiness didn’t depend on that.

Mackenz and I spent a whole heck of a lot time together. But it was awesome and we got to be closer than ever (who knew that was possible).

I always worried a little about becoming Hannah, and Hannah alone. I feared that we would just be “Hannah and Mackenzie” but honestly, I feel like we are both our own people. While we do have a number of similarities, we have our differences, that in the end, complement each other perfectly. Plus, when it really comes down to it all, I would not be the Hannah I am today without having Mack. 

 Second semester rolled around and the best of times with the best of friends rolled along. I was filled with such shock, but such relief to have found my people. It was incredible to see how these girls differed so much from my high school group, but how they filled my heart in a whole new way. We spent many hours quoting “The Office”, dancing on tables in classrooms, making cupcakes at midnight, and singing “Mamma Mia”. We also spent many hours stressed, feeling lost, and simply trying to survive this first step of “real life”. But we did it together. And all the while, 5eva was there for me too, navigating the valleys and mountains, miles apart.

We all came from such different backgrounds, from all walks of life. But we were all in the same place. Life with them became as familiar as life with the four family members I had lived with for 18 years. I wouldn't have made it without them. 

My friends are my everything. They are my now, my hopes, my dreams, my future. They see me in my ways I don’t see myself. We carry each other, loving each other for who we were, who we are, and what we will become.

So this one goes out to you, my gal pals. Thank you for being my teachers and my biggest blessings. Love, love, love you.

xo

Hannah