Celebrating my amazing mom on her birthday on Tuesday
Making: Quizlet flash cards for my upcoming exams Drinking: vanilla bean hot cocoa Reading: "Swing Shift: All-Girl Bands of the 1940s" by Sherrie Tucker Wanting: to go for a run outside but it is just too darn cold, snowy, and icy. Looking: at fellowships for my far-off (but not that far-off!) medical future Feeling: the happiest I have ever been! Ever! Playing: this song on repeat. So good!
Missing: my car. The most underappreciated luxury! Wishing: I had a kitchen to cook up a storm in. Current craving: baked eggs and sweet potato hash. Enjoying: each and every day. Life is so, so sweet. Waiting: for the Smith Spring Formal next week! Knowing: that all the pieces come together, just when you least expect it. Liking: that tomorrow is Friday! Hoping: that my lab quiz went well and my bio exam goes well on Monday! Marvelling: at my ability to navigate public transportation. Needing:more time to spend with my best friends. We could talk and laugh for hours. Smelling: my Moroccan oil laden locks. Such a luscious smell. Wearing: snow boots, my heavy coat, a scarf, a hat, and gloves- the February blizzard has arrived. Watching: thick white flakes outside my window Noticing: how absolutely beautiful the snow is. Peaceful, glittering, pure. Thinking: about how hard work really does pay off. Bookmarking: this blog. She's a med student at Harvard, a wife, and a mom. #GOALS Opening: my duffel to pack to go home this weekend! xo Hannah
So, so much love. One of my favorite relationships for sure
I can’t really find the words to start this post so I’m just going to ramble a little bit. Bear with me. A little while ago, I talked about how there’s the fine line when it comes to blogging about what's okay to share. Today though, I figured, “what the heck, let’s just dump it all out”. Thus, this post.
I am single.
My hands have always been up. (If you understand what I mean, we are automatically best friends)
I ain’t got no Valentine.
I know there’s about a million articles out there that will talk about how great it is to be single. And I actually agree with a lot of them. I love my independence. I love alone time. I love that I can focus on myself (in the most non-narcissistic way possible). When it comes down to it, being single isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Humans crave connection. We need relationships. And gosh am I lucky because I do have some fantastic relationships. I have my best friends, old, new, and all the best, I have my family and they are by far the most amazing foundation, and ya know, I have my cat and dog and they’re pretty cute and great too. I do not lack relationships.
However, I cannot lie. There is very much a piece of me that yearns for a relationship. You know, the one with a guy. Where you go on dates, tell each other everything and anything, and are self-sacrificing. Where he’s te person that you listen to old soul love songs to and think of. The person who gives you all the butterflies! The person you want to experience all of life with. Oh how I dream of that spark.
But I am happy. There are times I wallow in my pity, usually with my fellow single ladies Mack, Christine, and Caroline. We watch sappy romantic comedies and dream up the days where we are the girl with some boy holding a radio over his head outside our window and sigh. But then we just blast some T-Swift and dance it out because life is pretty grand.
I feel like society puts romantic relationships on a bit of a pedestal. While they are an important aspect to life, one that even God speaks of, they are not the end all be all. Being single doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me. It’s simply the season I am in at this point in life. It’s all in the timing.
As much as I want love, I have love. Right now, it’s just not the primary form that society is pushing. I am loved, there is no doubt in that, and I love. Life is only so long and I don’t have time to wish my life were any other way that it is in each moment. Here would be the appropriate place for me to insert a nice quote or Grey’s Anatomy monologue, but I won’t do that to you.
Just kidding. you knew I had to!
“At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now.”
Wow it's been so long since I did one of these posts. I don't know how I fell off the wagon, but I'm really, really trying to be a better blogger and these are easy posts that help keep me grounded.
It was a crazy, exhausting week. I had my first round of midterms. Three of my four were all on Monday. Shout out to all my loves who sent me good vibes and lots of luck- positivity lifted me through the day.
1. Excuse the fact that I am actually blogging a selfie (better yet a Snapchat selfie) of myself. But this absolutely captures how I felt on Monday night at 7:15, while I was waiting to start my third exam of the day. Exhausted, brain dead, and DONE.
2. Just another moment of Smith South Third being the best ever.
3. I have been waiting for this lab since I saw it in the manual. No words can express my love for dissections! This little fetal pig was one of the best parts of the week, without a doubt.
I swear that my hair is A) not the dark and B) not greasy- I had just washed it! I blame bad lab lighting.
4. A little Starbucks to celebrate finishing midterms on Thursday afternoon.
It doesn't get more basic than this
5. They're making a third movie!!!!!! CUE SCREAMING!!!! (even though I have known about this for months but now it's for sure!!!)
This really has nothing to do with this post, I just love the song. And it semi goes with my title.
Oh how I love these girls, Pearl Street, and warm winter days
The weather has been something wonderful lately. 60s, sunny, the air is fresh and slightly sweet, the birds are out chirping, there's a false sense of approaching summer. Really though, it has been great. I keep forgetting it is only February and the snow will come back eventually. Whenever I walk through campus, I feel like I am in this constant state of reflection. I'm always evaluating my life and what I can do to improve it but also how I can be happy with how it is. Sometimes I can't believe I am here. Each day shocks me.
Exactly one year ago today, I turned in my senior paper. The
craziness was just beginning. I still had no idea where I was going to
go to college and there was lots of tears while trying to figure it out.
Days were filled with friends, Sonic, tennis, and that feeling that
life as I knew it was going to be ending far too soon. Senioritis was in
full swing.
And here we are today. I live in Boulder,
have best friends that I love with all my heart, and am on a whole new
level of independent. Yesterday I had three midterms, two back to back
(and across campus, yikes) and I have one more this Thursday. I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day, never know exactly what I am having for dinner, live in about 90 square feet, sing with my friends in the shower (wow does that sound weird), and it's all up to me.
It's sort of insane how different things are. In these past six months, life as I knew it for 18 years, was completely changed. I suppose change is constant in life- maybe one of the only constant things- but these past six months have been like vigorously shaking a snow globe. Life is slowly settling back, but there's still little pieces of snow falling.
I really miss high school. I really hate to say that because I feel
like once you're in college, you're supposed to think high school was the worst thing ever. But that's just not how it is for
me. I was ready for new exciting adventures in college, and for some change, but I was never in a rush. I had the best high school experience a person could ask for. I idealize high school sometimes, but when I really think about it, I miss junior and senior year the most. My group of friends just kept getting closer (if that was even possible) and the rhythm of life beat on in sync to every move I made. There were hiccups along the way and it's hilarious to recall those now. In the end, the good really does outweigh the bad, since I'm always reminiscing the good. I just want to SCREAM to all the seniors who are counting down the days until graduation and saying they just want to be in college, SLOW DOWN. STOP. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT. LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!!
Mackenzie and I concluded tonight that freshman year of college is NOT supposed to be the best. Sure it's great, but... You're adjusting. You're trying to find your place. You're making friends. You don't even know what to do with all the independence you're just handed. When I think back on it, I did not love freshman year of high school. Things simply get better with time, and age. Plus who wants to peak at freshman year?
SO there's all my emotions for the week! Just kidding, I'll be back on Valentine's Day to share my truths on love and what it is and what it means. We're getting deep this week. Except for a happy High Five for Friday post because life ain't always about digging around and figuring out all the innards.
I do just want to reiterate that I do LOVE college with all my heart and am so thankful everyday for each opportunity and am so so so HAPPY! Probably the happiest I have ever been! Life is simply bittersweet. This post made it sound like I am miserable and hate life. False. Just a person who likes to lay out all their feelings on the Internet. ;)
disclaimer: some very minor spoilers in this post. nothing major, I promise :)
Thank you thank you thank you Braverman clan for everything. Image via
On Sunday night, I finished watching Parenthood. And now I'm blogging about it because it meant THAT much to me.
#PicturesThatGetYouChokedUp
You guys. If you haven't watched Parenthood, drop everything, go to Netflix, and start watching. YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!!! I hate to admit how much I actually love watching TV shows, but I do. I most love watching a show on Netflix, HBOgo, really anywhere I can stream all the seasons of a show at once because girlfriend can't wait around for new episodes every week. Since I am a college student, Netflix is basically part of my degree. I love watching a show and get so absorbed that I feel like I am a part of it. Parenthood was definitely one of those shows- I might as well have been Hannah Braverman. But back to the main point of this paragraph- go start watching Parenthood RIGHT NOW!
Now, for all my lovely readers who have watched Parenthood! Let's just talk about how it was the best show ever that should not have ended. I always thought Grey's Anatomy was my favorite show, and it is in a way, but Parenthood was the show that always had me tearing up and completely relating. Never has there been such a raw, authentic show about life than Parenthood. First of all, each actor/actress was phenomenal. Perhaps it was because they were portraying things that were REAL. And the situations that dealt with in each episode were REAL. There was no trees through body cavities or housewives killing husbands or vampires. It was so easy to get wrapped up in the show because you understood it all, you didn't need to use your imagination.
It's a really good thing my roommate wasn't back from the weekend when I watched the finale. I bawled and bawled and bawled. I don't cry when watching TV shows. I usually tear up and get all choked up with a ball in my stomach, but Parenthood has made me cry a steady stream of tears time after time. The finale made me sob uncontrollably. I completely lost it. I was the most emotional I have been in a very long time. I ended up calling Mackenzie (because what else would I do?) and cried on the phone to her because I was so flipping sad it was over and it truly felt like my heart had been carved out of my chest. Plus I really needed to instill in her that she HAD to finish the show ASAP so we could talk about it. I missed the Braverman's so much, I started hanging out with them again, on Netflix of course;) It's just not the same though.
I know I am slightly on the younger side of the Parenthood audience but I think that was a good thing in all the right ways. I understand how as a parent, you could watch and see how as Julia, Joel, Kristina, Adam, Sarah, Crosby, and the gang have the same hurdles and triumphs that you might experience. But I watched with the perspective of a teenager. When Kristina was diagnosed with cancer, I only could imagine that it was my mom who was sick. When Hattie left for college and broke down in tears at security, I was in the process of deciding where to go to school. I pictured me as Hattie and had that "oh crap, that's how I would be" moment. When Hattie surprised everyone at the pizza parlor for a visit, I thought about what it would be like if I did that. When Julia sat outside the school all day to show Victor that she was there for him, I could see my mom doing the same thing for me.
I have a wonderful, close knit family to thank for all the great emotions I felt when watching this show. While sobbing on Sunday night, all I wanted to do was give them all a hug. Thanks to this show, I value them even more. Parenthood really does no wrong, guys. Except for make you FEEL! And cry! (if you haven't already finished the show, ahem Mack, don't click the link!!!) Please, please just go watch it. I freaking wrote a blog post about it's amazingness. That's how you know it's good (and that's also how you know I get too attached to fictional families).
Blogging is a really strange concept. There's all types of different blogs- travel blogs, fashion blogs, craft/DIY blogs, food blogs, photography blogs, the list goes on and on. I don't really know what to call my blog, maybe a combination of all the above plus some. Mostly lifestyle, sorta journalish, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I have come a long way since my early days as a high school sophomore blogging (can you believe it all began THAT long ago?!) and I don't think I'll stop blogging ever. I will probably transition my blog as I transition through the seasons of life. My college adventures and endeavors plus the tips and tricks I pick up along the way, perhaps my life as a med student and a young adult making her way in the world, and eventually after that, my life as a doctor, and slices of my future family's life.
But it's weird. You have the audience, world wide. You sorta know who reads your blog, like your best friends and the people who have Googled you, but you don't know everyone. I remember in high school I found out that there was a whole slew of kids who I didn't really know who read my blog. How strange is it that we passed in the hallways and they knew my little stories? Then there's all the strangers and all you can think is "how the freak did you find my blog?!" It's cool though because I love other people's blogs and technically, we are strangers too. I guess the the neat thing about blogging is you feel like you have this friendship and create a bond with someone you have not met.
You also have the content. I try to keep things real over here, but admit to mostly highlighting the positive. I will be real every now and then and completely vent and scream about the negatives BUT only because I simply think it's important for my readers to relate and see how we all are human. There's a fine line between what I find to be too personal/appropriate to blog about and what is fine to share with the public. A major chunk of my life is here on my piece of the Internet, but there's also the things that go in journals or simply in my mind.
When it all comes down to it, I love to share. I love to write. I love to connect with people. I love to record the things that I know I will one day forget. My blog is my inner voice that begs to be heard. So I will end this slightly dramatic post now because my inner voice will sometimes get carried away by the drama of my inward emotions. Love to you all, readers of mine, strangers, friends, or foe.
