Today's Anthem

Today was just one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. There's no need to sugar coat it, it just sucked. But whatever, it happens to everyone.

As I listened to this song on the way home from tennis, I realized that it basically summed up today. You just got to shake it off.

...But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

So here's to getting through those sucky days, and  knowing that our choir concert tonight is going to be the best one yet. You got to find the good in the bad, right?

xo

Hannah

PS: Happy 17th birthday to the amazing Mackenzie! 

She'll get a special post tomorrow, I know you all can't wait! ;)

Why?

via

When I tell people, especially adults, that I want to be a doctor, one of the first things they ask me is,“Why?”

I don’t think they mean in it to offend me, but I admit, it totally does. I know how much schooling I have to go through. I know how much that costs. I know how it’s not easy to bury that debt. I know it’s a demanding job. I know that family can be pushed to the side. I know how difficult it is. Thank you very much.

Have we not all been to the doctor? Have we not all known someone with an awful disease? Have we not all had a moment in our life where what we needed was the knowledge, the support, the help of others?

What I want to ask is why do those who deserve everything, die too young? Why do people who are fit as a fiddle and well-tuned die before those who take no care of their body? Why does life have to be unfair?

It’s not right, it’s not just. It makes me livid, but compassion is a simple thing- to show sympathy towards the misfortunate. Sometimes, we have to push aside those judgements, the outside, and see the good in the bad.

I really hate to jump on bandwagons. Seriously hate it. But sometimes they remind you of something much more.

A classmate of mine has been battling Stage IV rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of soft tissue cancer since 8th grade. I still remember the day I found out about it. We were at the mall, to look at my watercolor of Eleanor Roosevelt that I was so proud of, when my mom’s friend called and asked if I knew him and had heard. My mother found a corner by Macy’s to go cry in and talk on the phone. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and I was beyond irritated. We were there to celebrate my painting I worked so hard on! But I was flooded with such guilt when I heard. Of course I knew who he was, I sat next to him in health and was his partner for partner work. And did I forget to mention the poor boy’s dad had died less than two months before his diagnosis? Life sucks.

It’s been three years since then. His health has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, and he’s had several amazing opportunities. But they can never make up for a life cut short. Yesterday, my mom told me things weren’t looking good. Today, they decided to go home on hospice. His birthday is on Wednesday, but the doctors are unsure if he will make it to then.

While all my other classmates will hear about this and for five minutes take a minute to recognize the precious gift of life, it just reminds me much more of why I’m here.

We all have a divine purpose. Whether we know what it is yet, we have one that is waiting to be called upon. I want to be a doctor for so many reasons, but hearing of these horrible events, these events that shatter the lives of undeserving people, makes me want to be a healer even more.

To do anything and everything to give people of all walks of life a second chance at this beautiful, and sometimes tragic thing called life... yep, that’s mine.

xo
Hannah

^"For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful mother in the world!

xoxoxoxo

Today, we relaxed and watched the snow fall, enjoying a cozy, lazy day. We celebrated last night with some hibachi, and camped in today.  With nearly a foot of snow on the ground and horrible roads, we  put on our sweats and laid around all day, enjoying homemade breakfast burritos, chess bars, and Girl Scout cookies. We watched "The Lucky One", "Argo" (a fantastic movie-- totally wasn't expecting to like it, but I loved it!) and then of course, the Academy Awards (a whole different post to come!). It was a great day. :)

I am so blessed to have this wonderful lady as my MOM. Although it's completely cliche, my mother is my role model. She is the epitome of strength, compassion, and kindness. She is constantly giving-- her love, her words of advice, her knowledge, her spirit. Anything she does, she does with all of her heart, and never goes halfway. She is my rock, whom I can tell anything to (and basically do) and can rely on for anything, whether it be a quick fix for a problem or constant support. She is the infrastructure for our family, and keeps our house running smoother than anyone else would ever be able to. She is the one who has always been there for me and believes in me, no matter what. 

I can only hope to be half of the woman she is one day.
I love you Mom!

xo
Hannah

High Five for Friday!

I really wish this weekend was a four-day weekend like last weekend. 

Oh well, it's my momma's birthday weekend!

1. When it snows as much as it (finally) did on Thursday, we should have had a delay or snow day! But nope, I still got to school at an early 7:15.

 2. No homework=time to relax!

 3. Donuts make me a happy girl.

 4. The tennis season is starting! I'm loving that we're doing dresses this year versus the usual skirt and top. :) (excuse the awful quality of the picture)

5. Basically all I've been eating this week. I LOVE rosemary bread and goat cheese!

xo

Hannah

The ABCs of Me

just me, Riley, and fire. normal stuff.

Addictions:  Netflix, Mindy Gledhill, and Thin Mints



Bed size: What a weird question! Um, a full I think?



Chore you hate:  Scooping the litter box! Or emptying everyone’s trash



Dogs or cats: Well, I guess you could call me a cat lady (ps I have two- Jack and Sophie), but I still do like dogs they’re just smell and more annoying.

Essential start of your day: Getting in my car and plugging in my phone to listen to my favorite Mindy Gledhill songs (usually I start with “Crazy Love”)


Favorite color: Seafoam green or navy blue


Gold or silver:  Can I pick both?!  Yep I am picking both.



Height: 5'4 :( I wish I was just a few inches taller!



Instruments you play (or have played):  Piano, flute, does my voice count?


Jobs titles you've had: Babysitter (since 5th grade) and um, occasionally doing some secretary work for my dad?
 
Kids: I love them but there is NO WAY IN HECK I’ll be having any soon!



Live: in Colorado, the state where snow is non-existent this winter



Mom’s name:  Marianne


Nickname: Han, Hannah Banana, H-Cakes and Graceful Coke that Costs a Lotta Cash (only by Riley), but I’m usually just Hannah



Overnight hospital stays: When I had a really bad virus that they thought was mono, when I was having really bad back issues, and after my Nissen



Pet peeve:  When people take off their shoes in class. I’m namely thinking of one person that specifically bothers me when they do this cough*Sarah*cough



Quote from a movie:   I feel like I should put a link to a free online version of Pitch Perfect or Mean Girls because I would literally quote every word...

 but because I won't, here's a favorite:

“Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Wearing slippers and watching the Miss Universe contest. Eating a brownie with vanilla ice cream. Getting to level seven in Dragon Master and knowing there were twenty more levels to go.

Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks- the traffic signal that said "Walk" the second you go there- and downticks- the itch tag at the back of your collar- that happened to every person in the course of the day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day.

maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying.

Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for.” 

-The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Right or left handed: Right



Siblings: Brandon (14) and Olivia (12)



Time you wake up: 6:28am on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, usually 7:00 on Wednesday, and 9:45 on the weekends



Underwear:  Is comfortable?  And I like it?


  
Vegetables you dislike: Celery. And tomatoes (I only like them without the seeds, kinda)



What makes you run late:  My inability to make decisions/be pleased with my outfit and appearance



X-rays you’ve had done:  My mouth (at the dentist), my stomach, my foot, my arm


Yummy food you make: I’d have to say my cinnamon popcorn is the best thing ever. 



Zoo animal:  Well because there’s no whales at the Denver Zoo, ostriches or elephants 



xo
Hannah

THE Question

When you're a junior in high school, there's one question that adults seem to ALWAYS ask.

Where do you want to go to college?

Oh gosh, I hate this question. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! 

 I can tell you without hesitation what I want to do with my life, "what I want to be when I grow up". I can tell you the how to find a limit, any of the trig identities, about life in urban Europe in the 19th century, all about "1984" by George Orwell, how to conjugate the future in Spanish, the names of my future children, the mass of the Sun, anything but where I want to go to college! 

Sure, I have some ideas, but do I KNOW where I really truly want to go? Heck no!

The question really starts being asked when your a freshman or sophomore, but when you don't know then, the adult always 'reminds' you that you have plenty of time to decide. But as a junior, the pressure is on. 

I know that I don't care if I stay in state or go out of state.

I know I want to go somewhere that offers me a scholarship.

I know I want to go somewhere I'll love.

And that's about it.

I have a little list in my head, but I've done hardly any research to know that I'm really interested. I'm thinking about University of Washington, College of William and Mary, Colorado School of Mines, Northwestern University, and American University. But honestly, I really don't know.

I've still got some time, don't I? 

xo

Hannah

Calling All the Single Ladies

I didn't intend to push my blog in a corner for almost a week, but life happened, and somethings got pushed on to the back burner.

About three weeks ago, Mackenzie and I made a plan to go see "Safe Haven" on Valentine's Day, but it blossomed into something much bigger. We obviously had thought to invite our other friends, but why not make it something bigger and better?!

We spent our off periods, lunch, and time after school constructing the perfect party, from everything to the food to the tags on the glasses. A week before Valentine's Day, we passed out these oh so cheesy but oh so cute invites, complete with a gift bag/box with candy hearts and tissues (aren't we hilarious?)

As the days got closer, the more excited we got! We went grocery shopping and decoration shopping and spent time making reminders and pinning cute ideas.

AND FINALLY, IT WAS THURSDAY! 

On Wednesday evening, we decorated almost all of the basement, prepped some of the food, and got everything as ready as possible. During lunch and 5th off on Thursday, we brought Jessica over to help and get all the last minute details done. After school, cakes were frosted, popcorn was made, flowers were put in vases, and our dresses were zipped. It was time for the best party ever!

Our "Welcome!" pose ;)

Heart-shaped fruit

Cake, candy, red peppers, red and white popcorn, pretzels, heart-shaped fruit

We got situated, ate some homemade pizza, and watched "The Notebook" before going to see "Safe Haven", my new favorite Sparks movie! It was so good, just go out and see it, it is so worth our time and money!

Kylee, Mackenzie, Amanda, and I (excuse the horrible movie theater quality pic)

Me and Amanda (aka my soul sister)

 On our way home, we made a caffeine stop at McDonald's for some sweet tea. But... my windows were frozen shut, so ordering through the drive-thru was a little difficult;) I'm pretty sure the worker didn't understand me when I said my windows were frozen shut, so just thought I was a lunatic teenage girl who didn't know that you don't get out of the car at the drive-thru.

Mack had to "Instagram dat joint";)

 When we got home, we talked and watched "A Walk to Remember"- kinda sorta, we all kept falling asleep and finally at 3am, called it a night.

It was so much fun, and definitely a success! Mack and I decided party planning is our back-up plan if our other career choices don't work out;)

Happy (late) Valentine's Day! I love all my blog readers!

xo
Hannah

That's Amore

I've never really been a girl who loves Valentine's Day, but this year, I am truly enamored with the holiday. I just love the thought of showing those you love, you love them... and to make all things ruffly, homemade and cute;) I have so many exciting things happening this week, and I'll let you in on my little secret tomorrow or Wednesday! As Love Week is on, I'll listen to the classic love songs, such as those by Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Nat King Cole... they set the mood just perfectly! ♥

 That's Amore -- Dean Martin

xo
Hannah 

High Five for Friday!

A day later... better late than never, right?

1. Lunch/5th off with Mack and Jess- always a party

2. Hi, I want this cat, bye. #crazycatladymoment

3. A much needed pedi-  red toes for Valentine's Day!

 4. This is my favorite part when it snows (after snow days)... the trees covered in the morning. So darn pretty!

5. Mackenzie and I are doing a little party planning and spend our off periods gluing, cutting, taping, creating... post to come soon. I AM SO EXCITED!

xo
Hannah

Color Blocking

I think I may have a new favorite outfit. The three of these colors are not what you would probably choose to go together naturally, however, there's something about them that clicks. Personally, I think when color blocking, it's important to to have two colors in the same color family (in this case, the navy and teal), and one pop (the red). The navy really pulls it all together! This outfit makes a statement in all the right ways:)

Like my creative use of the old milk box as a prop? ;)

Cardigan// Old Navy
Shirt// American Eagle (similar)
Pants// American Eagle (similar)
Boots// Steve Madden (similar)
Necklace// Charming Charlie
Bracelet// Charming Charlie

xo
Hannah

PS: I'm not quite sure why the quality of these pictures are so cruddy. I need to fix my settings... and keep saving my pennies for the perfect DSLR!

Where the Magic Happens

A wise woman once said, "Do one thing everyday that scares you". That wise woman was Eleanor Roosevelt, who I believe encompasses the qualities every woman should. She was strong, brilliant, and did not let a man rule her life. She took charge of her own life, while also helping others.

Today, I took Eleanor's words to heart and tried out for a solo in choir today. Now something you have to know about me is that I loathe singing in front of other people alone. I love to sing, it's probably one of my favorite things to do, but I really hate singing in front of people by myself. But today, when our teacher said to stand up if we were going to try out, I jumped up. I had a million butterflies in my stomach, and was unsure about doing it, but I did. And 'advanced' on to the next round. Before I knew it, I was in front of the entire with no hesitations, and was feeling really good about myself. It was one of those moments where I realized, oh, wow, I'm not actually a horrible singer! I'm in the final four! Holy shoot is this happening? And then it was me and Ali, the other girl trying out for the solo. I didn't even have any more nerves, it wasn't bad at all to sing in front of the others. I was beyond proud of myself for doing what I didn't think I ever would or could do.

Ali got the solo. And you know what? I wasn't even horribly disappointed. I mean, if I got, I would be ecstatic. But in that moment, I was so high on adrenaline and pride because I had made it as far as I did, I wasn't even sad. I felt instantly that I could sing in front of my choir alone, at any time, something I have never felt.  I did something that scared me, I stepped out of my comfort zone, and look what happened... the magic.

xo
Hannah

No Rhyme or Reason

Think of Me -- Rosi Golan

A song I just love. 

xo

Hannah

My Clique

For an added effect to this post, please listen to this song in the background

Last night was the Winter Dance! There's not much to say, the pictures say it all.

xo
Hannah