Seasons & Operas

Slightly dramatic picture, slightly dramatic post

Today was the weather was exceptionally "springy". It was overcast when I woke up and it rained/sorta hailed when I was walking to class. However, buds are covering trees and bushes and the grass is greening up again and the earth has a blooming smell to it. I spent most of the afternoon studying chemistry, and took the exam this evening. It's been a pretty good day, but just as the earth is doing its thing transitioning into the next season, I feel like life is too.

The past few weeks (but especially this weekend) I have been ridiculously nostalgic. I really, really miss my friends and family and the golden memories of high school. That feels crazy since high school was a good two years ago, but life has been so turbulent lately and honestly, pretty unstable, so I think I've just been clinging to my pieces of joy. I would give my arm and leg to go back to the freaking awesome surprise party the moms planned for us, or to Sonic stall 22, or to APUSH with Paisley, or to the tennis courts at the rec centers.

But at the same time, I'm so loving brunching with my gals, throwing myself into school, and learning the ropes of leading Wyldlife.

There is a magnet my mom keeps on the fridge at home that her grandma gave her. On it, there is a pumpkin surrounded by foliage and the words "To everything there is a season". Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens... A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance". This is my season where in the most random of moments, there is a lump in my throat. It's the time where I wish I was with my family simply out of comfort. Honestly, I want to say "oh I'm learning this or understanding this" but I don't know! I'm not quite sure what all of this is, other than a heaping dose of perspective and a realignment of priorities.

When I was listening to my Classical Spotify playlist in the attempt to keep my brain on chemistry not lyrics, "Nessun Dorma" (also love this version!!!) came on. My taste in music is seriously so all over the place, as I enjoy indie folk to opera arias to occasional pop to piano sonatas. My mood is very determinate of my music and in moments of focus, operas and classical music is my drug of choice. Last night I was listening to the Carpenters, this morning I was listening to The 1975, this evening it was Jackie Evancho.

With opera and classical, the deepest, most intense emotions that we can't really make sense of with words alone are simply thundered out with instruments and vocals. There's a great TED talk (I wrote a few thoughts on it a few years ago back here) that explains how classical music is transformative and captures magic in the most unique of ways. Tragedy is made beautiful and stories are told in their raw. So I guess my current state of life is that of a transitioning season, and an opera- unpredictable and glorious, liberated emotion. Thanks for sticking with me through this muddled mess of thoughts.

xo
Hannah