Reflections of Then and Now

This really has nothing to do with this post, I just love the song. And it semi goes with my title.

Oh how I love these girls, Pearl Street, and warm winter days

The weather has been something wonderful lately. 60s, sunny, the air is fresh and slightly sweet, the birds are out chirping, there's a false sense of approaching summer. Really though, it has been great. I keep forgetting it is only February and the snow will come back eventually. Whenever I walk through campus, I feel like I am in this constant state of reflection. I'm always evaluating my life and what I can do to improve it but also how I can be happy with how it is. Sometimes I can't believe I am here. Each day shocks me.

Exactly one year ago today, I turned in my senior paper. The craziness was just beginning. I still had no idea where I was going to go to college and there was lots of tears while trying to figure it out. Days were filled with friends, Sonic, tennis, and that feeling that life as I knew it was going to be ending far too soon. Senioritis was in full swing.

And here we are today. I live in Boulder, have best friends that I love with all my heart, and am on a whole new level of independent. Yesterday I had three midterms, two back to back (and across campus, yikes) and I have one more this Thursday. I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day, never know exactly what I am having for dinner, live in about 90 square feet, sing with my friends in the shower (wow does that sound weird), and it's all up to me.

It's sort of insane how different things are. In these past six months, life as I knew it for 18 years, was completely changed. I suppose change is constant in life- maybe one of the only constant things- but these past six months have been like vigorously shaking a snow globe. Life is slowly settling back, but there's still little pieces of snow falling.

I really miss high school. I really hate to say that because I feel like once you're in college, you're supposed to think high school was the worst thing ever. But that's just not how it is for me. I was ready for new exciting adventures in college, and for some change, but I was never in a rush. I had the best high school experience a person could ask for. I idealize high school sometimes, but when I really think about it, I miss junior and senior year the most. My group of friends just kept getting closer (if that was even possible) and the rhythm of life beat on in sync to every move I made. There were hiccups along the way and it's hilarious to recall those now. In the end, the good really does outweigh the bad, since I'm always reminiscing the good. I just want to SCREAM to all the seniors who are counting down the days until graduation and saying they just want to be in college, SLOW DOWN. STOP. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT. LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!!

Mackenzie and I concluded tonight that freshman year of college is NOT supposed to be the best. Sure it's great, but... You're adjusting. You're trying to find your place. You're making friends. You don't even know what to do with all the independence you're just handed. When I think back on it, I did not love freshman year of high school. Things simply get better with time, and age. Plus who wants to peak at freshman year?

SO there's all my emotions for the week! Just kidding, I'll be back on Valentine's Day to share my truths on love and what it is and what it means. We're getting deep this week. Except for a happy High Five for Friday post because life ain't always about digging around and figuring out all the innards.

I do just want to reiterate that I do LOVE college with all my heart and am so thankful everyday for each opportunity and am so so so HAPPY! Probably the happiest I have ever been! Life is simply bittersweet. This post made it sound like I am miserable and hate life. False. Just a person who likes to lay out all their feelings on the Internet. ;)

xo
Hannah

{Giving Thanks} Memories

Dear current high school seniors,

This is one of those things you're going to be hearing a lot of this year. No, I'm not going to ask where you're going to school or what you're majoring in- trust me, I know that's the absolute worst thing to be asked right now. I'm not going to ask you anything. I'm going to tell you something and boy, I sure do hope you listen.

Life is busy right now. You are filling out college applications, trying to figure out a senior project, looking at scholarship opportunities, all while trying to manage school work. Everyone seems so concerned with this great unknown, the daunting future, that it's difficult to stay in the now. Oh but you must.

Drink it all in. Soak up every moment. Say yes. These days are some of the most wonderful days of your life.

I hope you are lucky enough to have found the best friends in the whole world. The people who you know way too much about, but still love. Those amazing people who you have no clue what you would do without. They are the best people ever and you know that you will always be best friends. But those best friends of yours will soon be miles and miles away and you will very much wish you had the luxury of seeing them everyday. Yes, you will make many, many new friends wherever the future may bring you, but there is a special bond you will always have with those friends from high school. They were there for you during some of the most awkward times. They're the ones with you as you prepare for this big change. They are your family. They are the usual, the familiar, the comfortable. And that, that is something that you will learn never to take for granted.

While life may seem so complex right now, you will only remember how simple it really was.

Dance the night away at every school dance. Root on the football team at every game. Attend all theater performances. Partake in spirit weeks. Thank your teachers. Go on long drives, listening to good music. Hang out with your friends every weekend. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Make the most of the time that moves far too swiftly... before you know it, you'll be holding your diploma.

Hang out with your family. No matter how annoying they are, you will really miss them. You will miss having dinner with them every night and watching your younger siblings grow up. The best news is they will be there for you when you need them, and home is always waiting. For now though, take advantage of the sweet time you have together.

Cherish your grades being composed of a lot of boosters. In college, the majority of your grade is exams. There are no worksheets or homework assignments or participation points to fluff up that grade.

When second semester comes and the senioritis hits hard, that's ok. But still try. Finish strong. Know it's not the end. But it's happening. Instead of mindlessly walking from class to class, really look around you. The halls around you have housed you for the past four years. They're where you grew. Notice all the little things, the things you never noticed before. Leave your mark. 

Cast away any anxiety that the future may bring. Right now, live in each day. Along the way, you will fall into the most wonderful place, exactly where you belong.

What is about to come is amazing. You will have so many new opportunities, new adventures, and incredible memories. But never forget your roots. They have influenced where you are today. There will be days where you miss what was. You will miss listening to Paisley's lectures, and constructing ecocolumns in APES, and running cross country. But you will love your new friends, independence, and discovering your passions. You will love awakening parts of you that you did not know exist. It is thrilling and scary and the best thing ever. And it will come when it's time.

You know you're going to miss all of this, but you don't know yet just how much. So find peace, find joy, and love where you are. You'll never be there again.

-Hannah

//

Today, I am incredibly thankful for memories, specifically those of high school. I was so lucky to have the most amazing tight knit group of friends in high school.  Because of those amazing friends, I came out of high school with some of the most fantastic memories. Every day, I find myself recalling a specific event, smiling and wishing I was there to share a moment like it again. I think that memories, good and bad, are one of the most precious gifts of life. Time spent together is certainly invaluable.



My favorite way to reminisce of those good ol' high school days.

xo
Hannah