The End in Mind

Boy has it been a while since I've been here, with a blinking cursor on a blank new post page. My mind is sort of all over the place right now. I've really been missing writing and sharing and reflecting.  Life has been something wonderful lately. Busy, but beautiful. I have 22 days left until I am finished with my first year of college. C R A Z Y. I'm ready for summer but I'm not sure I'm ready for this all to be over. It's been a roller coaster of a year but the best ride ever.

A year ago was the end of an era, prom, my final high school dance. I looked forward to high school dances *almost* as much as Christmas. I lived for the thrill of getting dressed up and eating a fancy dinner and taking pictures and DANCING (duh) and going to Village Inn afterwards and spending all night talking. So many of my favorite high school memories root from high school dances. They were where we could let loose and just celebrate life for no particular reason.

Last night, while I was not wearing a full length gown or sporting a fancy updo, the dancing and celebrating continued. My best friends and I got together for another Smith South Third Girls Night, dancing and singing all of ABBA's greatest hits from Mamma Mia. We opened all the windows, turned off the lights and put on the disco ball, and danced on the tables. We painted nails and chatted about the smallest of things and the biggest of things. It was a good night.

 I feel like lately whenever I do blog, it's all "wow time is flying, yay I love college, ahh remember everything that was just going on a year ago, happy happy happy". It's weird. I feel like there's nothing big to blog about because life is so normal and ordinary, but also so extraordinary. It's a difficult emotion to try to describe. Life is simple, filled with class, studying, homework, and friends. But it's so dang awesome. It's like I'm the same but so different. I'm growing up and figuring out who the heck I am (aren't we all?) but I am also so sure of who I am and what I want. I guess the problem is I know what I want but this little thing called time is standing in the way. While I have grown to be more patient and am better about living in the now, I do need to work on my anxiousness. I'm in a rut and I just want to break the chains and run and explore and adventure. I want to be thoughtful and observant and there for others.

I really think I just need to get out of my dorm room;)

This week is all about taking it day by day. I will do what I can, when I can, and be happy. Three more weeks of classes, and one day of finals. Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run.

xo
Hannah