Why?

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When I tell people, especially adults, that I want to be a doctor, one of the first things they ask me is,“Why?”

I don’t think they mean in it to offend me, but I admit, it totally does. I know how much schooling I have to go through. I know how much that costs. I know how it’s not easy to bury that debt. I know it’s a demanding job. I know that family can be pushed to the side. I know how difficult it is. Thank you very much.

Have we not all been to the doctor? Have we not all known someone with an awful disease? Have we not all had a moment in our life where what we needed was the knowledge, the support, the help of others?

What I want to ask is why do those who deserve everything, die too young? Why do people who are fit as a fiddle and well-tuned die before those who take no care of their body? Why does life have to be unfair?

It’s not right, it’s not just. It makes me livid, but compassion is a simple thing- to show sympathy towards the misfortunate. Sometimes, we have to push aside those judgements, the outside, and see the good in the bad.

I really hate to jump on bandwagons. Seriously hate it. But sometimes they remind you of something much more.

A classmate of mine has been battling Stage IV rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of soft tissue cancer since 8th grade. I still remember the day I found out about it. We were at the mall, to look at my watercolor of Eleanor Roosevelt that I was so proud of, when my mom’s friend called and asked if I knew him and had heard. My mother found a corner by Macy’s to go cry in and talk on the phone. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and I was beyond irritated. We were there to celebrate my painting I worked so hard on! But I was flooded with such guilt when I heard. Of course I knew who he was, I sat next to him in health and was his partner for partner work. And did I forget to mention the poor boy’s dad had died less than two months before his diagnosis? Life sucks.

It’s been three years since then. His health has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, and he’s had several amazing opportunities. But they can never make up for a life cut short. Yesterday, my mom told me things weren’t looking good. Today, they decided to go home on hospice. His birthday is on Wednesday, but the doctors are unsure if he will make it to then.

While all my other classmates will hear about this and for five minutes take a minute to recognize the precious gift of life, it just reminds me much more of why I’m here.

We all have a divine purpose. Whether we know what it is yet, we have one that is waiting to be called upon. I want to be a doctor for so many reasons, but hearing of these horrible events, these events that shatter the lives of undeserving people, makes me want to be a healer even more.

To do anything and everything to give people of all walks of life a second chance at this beautiful, and sometimes tragic thing called life... yep, that’s mine.

xo
Hannah

^"For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14