What A Difference A Year Makes

One year ago, I shared with my family where I would be going to college.
Now I go to that college and love it.
WOW.


Tearjerker right here, folks.

I wish I had been the type of kid where it was easy to choose where to go to school. I wish I had a school that I just knew I wanted to go to, no questions asked. But, that just was not me. It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. I really did not know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted the best.

Something inside of me was just begging to leave, explore, and fly to somewhere new. I wanted to go to Washington or Oregon (not sure why the Pacific Northwest was so intriguing) and dip my toes in life there. My mom and dad did not. I knew they wanted me to stay in state for a handful of reasons, but I never understood why. It was actually one of THE most infuriating things in the world. I get it now, but I sure didn't back then. I definitely harbored some resentment for a while (sorry mom and dad). In state, I applied to DU and CU. I really didn't want to go to either. I really did not want to go to CU. I was much better than CU, way too good for that school. The thought of me going to CU seriously felt like such a disappointment. It was just CU, after all.

Oh Hannah.

In about mid to late February, I made my decision. I was not 100% sure about it, but after some serious prayer, soul searching, and reliance on my gut, I chose CU. I wanted to go to UW or Gonzaga, but there was some unease about going somewhere that far, so I figured, baby steps. I would do my undergrad for sure in Colorado, and then go to med school elsewhere. When I think about it now, I don't know why I thought I was ready to go out of state. Change is not always easy for me, especially a huge change like moving over a thousand miles away from the place I've called home for 18 years. So I would begin my journey into the "real world" in Boulder at CU.

Naturally, the first person I told where I had decided to go was Mackenzie. I won't bore with you the details of that melodramatic experience, but I'll never forget that conversation at our favorite Sonic stall. I was scheduled to go on a campus tour on March 7. It was a surreal experience. I knew I would be going to CU, but I had not told my parents so the whole time they were doing everything in their power to convince to choose it (lol). We had lunch with a family friend, who was a freshman, and my dad and I got a tshirt at the bookstore. I went home, had Mack come over, did a little fun photo shoot, and whipped up this video to share with my parents. They cried (which was of course my goal), and suddenly there was a plan for the future!

I wish I wouldn't have been so hard on myself for choosing CU. If I could go back in time, here's what I would have told myself (even though I probably wouldn't have listened to myself because I'm stubborn like that):

1. It is NOT just CU. 
As a Colorado student, you feel like you are just going to CU, the public university that everyone goes to. WRONG! While there is a chunk of kids from my high school that also go here, I rarely see them (thank god). Also, out of state kids pay almost $45,000/year to come here! CrAzY!!! CU is one of the top research universities, ranked up with the Ivy Leagues. In fact, several "trust fund kids" who can't buy their way into an Ivy will come here because it has that high of recognition.

2. It is the best thing ever being an hour from home.
Never underestimate how much you love your family. A lot of my high school peers were just itching to get out of Highlands Ranch. I never really had an issue with HR, but I did want to experience something. Regardless, leaving home and all of its familiarity gives you such an appreciation for it! I am so happy that my family is close by if I need them. Plus it's so nice to be able to go home without having to get on a plane. Mostly just because I have a difficult time packing;)

3. It is a party school, but you don't have to party.
CU has a notorious reputation as a party school. It is. But guess what? The partying really does not happen on campus. My dorm is really the anomaly because it's the honors dorm so it's quiet 99% of the time, but even in some of the other dorms, the partying is not particularly intense. I know Mackenzie deals with a lot more loudness and the smell of weed and vomit in the bathroom than me (well because I literally never deal with that), but she has told me time and time again, you just get used to it. Parties do not happen in the dorms. They happen at the frats and on The Hill. And there really is not a lot of pressure to be a partier. Because it is such a big school, you are more than likely to find other kids like you who DON'T want to go get wasted and high every weekend. The kids who come here to party don't make it- they flunk out. CU is not easy, bringing me to my next point...

4. CU is academically challenging!
I didn't ever really think CU would be a cake walk, but I figured a lot of stupid kids went there so it couldn't be that bad. Well, it is true that a lot of stupid kids do go here but that actually works out because they help with the curve;) I truly thought I was better than CU. Turns out, I'm not. You have to work hard and study and go in to office hours; you are here to prove yourself.

5. Big is okay.
For a while, I thought I wanted to go to a smaller school because I enjoy getting to know my teachers and have them know me. What's great about CU is there are some smaller classes where you still get that experience, but there's also large lectures, which are great because you can just sit and absorb and be a face in the crowd. Even with the large lectures, you have plenty of opportunity to get close to your professor or TAs and get individualized attention.  The huge campus sometimes sucks in the snow, but I walk a minimum of 4 miles a day so yay for health! You have to find your place, which I promise you will.

I actually can't believe how much I love CU. I was walking into the library yesterday morning and I saw my reflection in the glass doors and I freaked out for a second because holy shoot, I looked like a college student. I AM a college student. I still can't get over it. I have the best friends ever here, I love my classes, I love my dorm, I love this independence, I love college. I hope you all enjoyed my pitch for CU because I sure do sound like a CU advertiser but I LOVE IT! I am actually sad that spring break is coming up because that means the end to my first year is nearly over and I don't think I'm ready for that. It's tough at times, but I am so, so, so happy that my heart feels like it might explode. Regardless to where you go, you just need to be happy. That's what is the most important thing. Find your place, and bloom.

xo
Hannah