Grateful for the Normal

A normal family moment captured by the outstanding Andrea Smyth (check out her photography here)

Every November since I began blogging, I've done some variation of a giving thanks series. I'm a very reflective person in the first place and constantly think about the multitude of blessings in my life, giving thanks for the big things, like my incredibly supportive family, and the small things, like having a Butterfinger in my room when I'm really craving chocolate. However, I am a sucker for November and the holiday season, so I will gladly play along with the rest of the world and give more notice to the things I am thankful for.

A few months ago, I was reading Love Taza and saw this quote.

normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. let me hold you while i may, for it may not always be so. 
― mary jean irion

It really struck a chord with me, and I was quick to copy and paste it so I wouldn't forget it.

Normal days are the ones that we are easily remembered. The rhythms we follow without missing a beat. Normal days are the days we come home to, the faded pictures, the worn-in couch, the cozy clothes, the familiar smells, the comfort that soothes our souls. The days that aren't anything special but are everything special. Where life simply happens, with no piercing punctuations.

When I’m a little homesick (yes, it still occasionally happens), I find myself missing the normal days. The ones where my friends and I would drive around Highlands Ranch during our off periods and fight over the who’s music we got to listen to. The one’s where I spent hours upon hours trying to finish busy work for my classes, and my only break was dinner with my family. I miss weekend errands and hearing my sister practice her dance routines and watching HGTV at night with my parents. It was the simple routines that left me so full. 

I guess the normal is what I seem to love so much because I know how quickly it can be taken away. It can be an earth-shattering diagnosis, an unexpected passing, a change in the opposite direction we are headed, moving away from home, or something wonderful, like a hope-restoring treatment, joyful birth, new job offer, or a sparking love. Whether it’s good or bad, life changes and we experience new seasons. We cope, we make do with what’s new, but have to navigate foreign waters, searching for a new normal, mourning the end of chapter while diving into a new chapter. 

Normalcy: talking to/bothering Mackenzie when I'm sick of studying

So this month, I hope to dwell more on the things that I love so much but so often take for granted. I hold my breath, knowing that they are a gift and normalcy is not guaranteed. Here's to an extraordinary life, that couldn't happen without the ordinary. 

xo
Hannah

Lyfe Updates

Ok wow has this blog become my emotion commotion journal this past month. Love that I get it all out, but also want you all to know I am truly not that dense of a person all the time. So time for a fun, life update post.

First and foremost, an ode to summer. Man do I miss it.

We had a very fun Girls Night (at my grandparents house lol) where we talked, ate lots of dessert, and played Cards Against Humanity (which I proudly won).

My family had fall break so they came to a pumpkin patch near Boulder, so I was able to meet them and escape school responsibilities for the afternoon.

We had a lot of fun at the petting zoo area  

I went home last weekend and it was absolute heaven. It felt so good to just be home and hanging out with my family. The first thing I did was drive straight to my nanny fam's house so I could see the kiddos. I got to spend some quality time with Josie and Luke while we waited for Syd to come home from school. I just love those kiddos. Later that night, we went to Olivia's last football game of the season. My mom and I spent Saturday redecorating the basement to make it more warm and homey. Sunday, we had some great family pics taken. 

He is getting SO big!

Love my little Jo

Then came "Halloweek". Wednesday night, I went to a YoungLife party and had a rocking good time tearing up the dance floor. YL parties are basically insane dance parties and I love them so much! Thursday night, Mack and I went with Jordan and Christine to their friend's house in Golden for a small party, where we danced and sucked at water pong (turnt college students, am I right?). Christine and Jordan dressed up as The Blue Man Group and were hilariously terrifying. Then Christine put on a Batman mask and it was just too good.

On Saturday night, we went to another YL party to again, tear up the dance floor.

Emma, Mackenz, and I were Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel from Friends. Not the most obvious of costumes, but easy and fun. Gotta love 90s style.

Fitbits for lyfe

Nailed it

Sophomore year has kept me busy and contemplative for sure. But I'm loving it! and even more, I'm loving that today is the start of THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!! You best believe I've been listening to holiday music all morning and planning how I'm going to decorate my room! Oh man, I am loving life.

xo
Hannah

You Raise Me Up

Always there to catch me. And because no post is complete without a picture.

There’s a hundred different things I could say about college and what it does to you. But let me put it simply:

It. Is. Hard.

I don’t say this to scare any high schoolers or to break any parents hearts. It’s just a simple fact that I think is often overlooked when you look at the grand idea of college. It’s easy to overlook that it is indeed school, and it’s school you choose to go to, unlike high school, which is required by law (sorta I think?)

The whole process of getting to college is its own challenge. Applying, waiting to hear back, deciding. Freshman year is it’s own special blur. There’s so much confusion, but also so much understanding. You grow and truly enter adulthood but the transition is what seems to be all consuming. 

Then comes sophomore year. Oh how wonderful it has been. I love that I HAVE my friends, I love living off campus in an apartment with my best friend, I love the increased freedom and independence. But there is an even bigger slap in the face with adulthood. The real world is getting closer and closer, scarier and scarier. The amount of pressure you suddenly are under to figure out everything about your life is unfathomable. You need to building a beautiful resume with internships and jobs, getting good grades in your classes, participating in extracurriculars, all with the the finest of precision and balance, to (eventually) guarantee a spot in a prestigious graduate program or excellent position at a strong company.  You need to know what you are doing with your life and have the detailed plan of how you're going to do it. 

And then you break. Like I did last Wednesday.

My TA and fellow anatomy lab students began to talk about how difficult classes were that I know I will eventually take, how hard it is to get into many graduate programs, how there is such a strong need to excel and be the best. I was already feeling overwhelmed by my anatomy lecture exam that was the next day, and stressing about building my semester for the next semester. The second I left the building, I started crying, and spent the rest of the afternoon crying. Crying while talking to my parents and friends, crying as I studied, crying as I made a cup of tea. It rained all throughout the day, ironically enough, and I couldn’t dig myself out of the hole I had created. I was crippled with anxiety and feelings of inferiority. 

I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and have ridiculously high expectations for myself. I don’t really give myself a lot of room for error. I have my own plan and am truly working on accepting that it isn’t going to necessarily happen how I want it to. The whole afternoon, in the back of my mind, I knew I simply needed to surrender and just breathe. Isn’t it funny how we always ignore our true thoughts. Inner demons, I tell you.

As I went about crying and freaking out, those around me took me under their wings. Mackenzie went and got me Starbucks. Emma sent me the kindest words. Christine and Luke encouraged me during chemistry. My parents called me, offering to drive to Boulder to help me study. The next morning, I received good luck texts from Caroline, Emma, Mackenzie, and my parents. 

I took my anatomy exam (and did tremendously better than the first time) and headed to Starbucks to finish a chemistry lab writeup and get a warm drink. I put my headphones, scanning my Spotify for a song to listen to, and stumbled on “You Raise Me Up” but Josh Groban. They lyrics spoke to me, as I thought about how blessed I was to have my tribe. 

They raise me up. As independent as I might believe I am, I really can’t do it alone. So today, I give thanks for my people. I wouldn't be here without you all. xoxo

xo

Hannah

Unveiling Truth

For a while now, I've felt stumped when it comes to blogging. I've got so much to say and so much I want to preserve, but have a difficult time choosing the right words to convey it all.

Back when I first started blogging, it was a part of my daily routine. I wrote something everyday, no matter how short or long the piece. I'm really happy I was so dedicated to it because it has provided me a great online journal/scrapbook of sorts to look back on. But now, blogging has really taken the back burner, and I associate that mostly with feeling of inferiority. In the last three years, the use of social media has greatly increased. With this, there is more pressure.

I find myself comparing my life/blog/social media to other people, who according to their two-dimensional pictures and webpages, are perfectly put together and always happy. From their online profiles, they don't seem bogged down by school/work, confused about the future, worried about their appearance, they've got it all together.

And then there's me and my online life...

My pictures are not carefully edited, and very amateur.
My writing is rarely proofread.
My thoughts are usually ramblings that don't make a lot of sense.

My blog is the furthest thing for aesthetically perfect, and so am I. I am flawed.

But I'm coming to terms that that is ok. I want my blog to be a testament of me, of my life, of my heart, of the hard truths, of the joyful spirits. I realized that it's less about how things on this small part of my life look and it's more about what I'm saying and what that means to me.

My mom is one of the most authentic people in my life. She doesn't do what is popular, she does what is right for her. She isn't shy to point out her imperfections and laugh and celebrate them.  The other day, she sent me this article. It was pretty intriguing and it really made me think about my role on social media.

I think it's pretty normal to not share the not so pretty parts of life on social media because, well, they're not pretty. Society has slanted to using rose-colored glasses. But I think there's no need to hide the rough realness.

So let's get real real, real fast:

so cliche but necessary. This was taken on a Saturday, spent studying chemistry, wearing my comfiest, ugliest sweats. No makeup, just my cute little zits and blemishes and dry skin. Hair drying from a shower, kinky because of a bun I had just taken it out of. Real life, people. 

-Working out is not my jam. I love the idea of running but do not enjoy the actual act of running. I primarily work out so when I have kids, my body won't be complete crap.

-My life is pretty darn boring for the most part. Most of my day is made up of class, studying, food, and then an episode of some drama TV show if I'm not up too late. But honestly, I'm really happy with my life and don't feel the need to be always doing something crazy to have my life be exciting.

-I have major control issues.

-Self-doubt is my biggest inner demon.

-There's a lot of times I wish I wanted to do something besides medicine. I wish my dream wasn't so intense and time consuming and so freaking cutthroat.

-I am quick to see what I'm bad at and dwell on that. I have a hard time acknowledging when I'm good at things.

-As much as I love to dress up and create stylish outfits, the first thing I do everyday when I get home from class is take off my pants and put on running shorts.

-I am a chronic overthinker. Of everything.

So here's to more real life here and there and everywhere. Here's to truth behind the 2D things we see and share. It's time to get back to just blogging for the heck of it (insert fistbump emoji)

xo
Hannah

Goodbye Gallbladder

h8 u gb

On May 21, I had my gallbladder taken out after six months of tests, special diets, annoyance, pain, and utter frustration. It was one of those "best/worst things" to happen to me. Over Christmas break, I woke up one day with some of the worst abdomen pain I have ever experienced. I was nauseous and could barely move. I distinctly remember my mom made gingerbread waffles that morning and I sat in the family room covering my nose because the smell made we want to hurl, and curled in the fetal position to try to subdue the pain. I kept trying to ride off the pain, using heating pads, trying to distract myself by watching My Girl, and doing everything in my power not to cry. I realize how dramatic this sounds but my gosh, I am a girl who knows abdomen pain. I am the GI pain queen. But this was something awful. My mom said she was taking me to the hospital because she thought my appendix had ruptured. I resisted going simply because I knew that meant a long day laying on a small cot, but eventually went because the pain was too unbearable. It turns out my white count was spiked and I did have a fever, so the on call ER doc was getting ready to call in the surgeon because everything was pointing to my appendix. They just had to do a CT scan and ultrasound to confirm. Well, it turns out my appendix was completely normal! But I did have a cyst on my ovary. They sent me and my mom on our merry way and I laid low for the next few days, dealing with the pain.

The pain however, never went away. I thought it was sort of strange to be experiencing pain directly under my rib cage from an ovarian cyst, but I know that pain can radiate. Ovarian cysts are common in women and can sometimes not be felt at all. They usually "pop" on their own, and the doctors told me mine definitely would within a week. But a week had passed, I was supposed to go back to school soon, and I was getting concerned about how to deal with the pain. I believe in honesty on my blog, so I'm going to vulnerable here. I had to go to the gynecologist (cringing as I type this) and they performed an internal ultrasound.  O U C H. Like whoa. You guys, that 10 minutes for sure goes down as the most awkward 10 minutes of my life. The poor tech was this sweet motherly southern lady, but I was literally crying in pain as she probed me. All they saw from the ultrasound was there was some extra fluid around my uterus, probably from the burst cyst. That could be causing some pain. So they gave me some prescription strength naproxen (aleve), and off to school I went for second semester.

So I'm back at school, the semester is just beginning, stress levels are as L O W as they get. But I am still  experiencing this agonizing pain lateral to my belly button on the right side, directly under my rib cage. The pain wakes me up every single night, like clockwork. I tell my mom about it in every phone call, and she eventually talks to my uncle, who is a doctor. He suggests I go back to see my GI doctor. Enter trusty and true Dr. Stathos! Over the course of the next few weeks, I was able to see his PAs, and begin the process of diagnosis. I gave them my blood, emptied my bowels, tried more medications than I can count on my hands, went off gluten and caffeine, had ultrasounds, CTs, and kept experiencing the pain. I cried and cried, no longer because of the pain, but because of the frustration of not knowing what was going on! I had become expert at hiding the pain when I was with other people, but those 3am pains would have me sitting in the dark room, upset and feeling absolute defeat.

Over Valentine's weekend, I had an upper GI series done, swallowing that nasty barium and being tilted all about the table. Over spring break, I had an endoscopy done to really get the internal view of what was going on. It turns out my stomach was inflamed, but so was the beginning of my small intestine. They prescribed something to treat ulcers and inflammation, ruled out H. pylori, and we all prayed that things would improve.

 But they didn't. One night in April, Riley texted me asking about some medical things. She was listing symptoms she was experiencing and asking what they could mean. I was stunned because they were the exact same symptoms I was feeling. I called her, we talked, and I anxiously told my mom, mostly because I sort of didn't feel alone anymore. I was scheduled to see my doctor (after a whole bunch of cancelled appointments) in that next week, and was so excited to see him, in the hopes he would have answers. The day of the appointment, my grandpa picked me up and brought me to meet my mom at my doctor's downtown office. As fate would have it, my doctor was sick with food poisoning that day, so his best PA would see me. I was, once again, upset, but figured some medical professionals guidance was better than none. The PA strongly felt that it was my gallbladder, and suggested a HIDA scan, which evaluates gallbladder performance. We scheduled the test and never in my life have I ever prayed so much for a bad test result. If my gallbladder was not functioning correctly, I could have biliary hyperkinesia (too much bile being released), biliary dyskinesia (not enough bile being released) or a biliary duct blockage.

A few days later, the radiologist called me to let me know my HIDA scan came back.... you guessed it! Normal. My gallbladder was not hyperkinetic or dyskinetic, simply just kinetic. Despite pain during the procedure when CCK was given to me, my ejection fraction was within normal range. I called my mom, sobbing. But the semester was almost over, an appointment with Dr. Stathos was scheduled, and he would have answers. The man always does.

All throughout this time, Riley was also having the same scans done. She had a HIDA scan and her GI doc decided to refer her to a surgeon just to take out the gallbladder, once and for all. I was so incredibly jealous, but also happy her pain was being resolved.

When the day finally came to see Dr. Stathos, I was armed and ready to beg for a cholecystectomy. His medical student palpated my abdomen, and noted my Murphy's sign was hypersensitive. Dr. S came in, and said the most magical words; "Let's get the gallbladder out". While most people would think I'm crazy for wanting surgery, I knew this was my gallbladder. I knew this was something that would forever be corrected if my gallbladder got taken out. It really was gut instinct (hahahaha love anatomy puns!!!).

My surgeon was booked up for almost 6 weeks, and I wanted that darn organ OUT. I wanted to be on the other side. I wanted to not have my summer interrupted. I wanted to not have huge scars when I was in Hawaii;) So I gave Riley's surgeon a call, and by the grace of God got an appointment on a Tuesday... and scheduled my surgery for THURSDAY! Hallelujah!!!

Scar twins

I was so flipping excited! Thursday couldn't come fast enough! Luckily it did, and I was so ready for that morning! The entire surgery process was a blur. This was my first "adult" procedure, aka first non-Children's Hospital procedure. You guys, it's way better when you're treated as a child, but I guess we all have to grow up. I sat in preop for only about 30 minutes, got wheeled back, and was OUT fast. I think they mistook my curiosity as a future doc, as I looked around the OR, asking lots of questions, as nerves because I hardly remember anything from the OR. Then I woke up. As a redhead, I take more anesthesia to be knocked out. As a redhead, I am a bear coming out of anesthesia. I guess it took a whole slew of people to restrain me afterwards haha. I also was very upset with my surgeon because he took out my appendix because it was inflamed  (something they said he might do- they always look at the right ovary and appendix for issues when doing a choly). I said I was like "Madeline" (yes, the little redheaded French orphan) and asked for them to put it back in me, or to give it me. I don't remember any of this though haha.

You had to know I would post this nastiness

I was surprised by my postop pain, which was mainly caused by trapped air. I walked up and down the street, trying to get it out of my shoulders, but spent the first two days after surgery curled in a chair watching Friends. I was bloated for a solid two weeks after the surgery and only wore loose clothing or else it wasn't a pretty sight. I was so exhausted at the end of the day as I worked to regain my energy.  My scars healed quickly and I did not have an allergic reaction like with my last surgery.

I was pretty worried for a while after my surgery. Dr. Stathos said that my issue was my gallbladder or my sphincter of Oddi, but there was no way to determine which without doing a procedure. He though because of my age and most of my symptoms, it would be best to take out my gallbladder, but if I still had pain post-surgery, it was most likely sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. I did experience pain, similar to the pre-surgery pain, for about a month afterwards. It would scare me and I would panic that the cholecystectomy was the wrong choice. If it was my sphincter of Oddi, I would have to have a biliary endoscopy and spend the night in the hospital, which wasn't really on my summer agenda. Luckily, the pain eventually stopped, most likely because it was just normal postop pain. I mean, they did take out an organ after all.

So what really was wrong? Upon taking my gallbladder out, the surgeon noticed that scar tissue was surrounding the organ. He was not sure why I had it or what caused it, but assured me it was what was causing my pain. So after 5 months of thinking I was going crazy, I had an answer and life has been great since.

Moral of this novel of a post: keep asking questions, don't feel defeated, the doctors will figure it out, you will feel better!

xo
Hannah

Carved in My Heart

Time for a little life catch up...

I have a feeling that sophomore year will be filled with lots of group selfies 

The first of my close friends, the ever so lovely Courtney, turned 20 in September! It's so strange that we are leaving our teenage years, years I so anticipated when I a kid. Even though you're technically an adult at 18, 20 feels so much more real and adult like. Six more months of teenagehood left for me! We celebrated 2 decades of Courtney with a delicious dinner and even more delicious cheesecake.

I went home at the end of September for Olivia's sophomore homecoming. I still remember each high school dance like it was yesterday and am so happy that she's enjoying high school as much as I did. I skipped my Friday chem lecture and went home Thursday afternoon, making it back in time to surprise my family at the football game, where Olivia would be performing at halftime. While I was there, I ran into some of my favorite people in the world! 

My favorite people tend to be under the age of 8

Friday, Olivia had a very busy day but still managed to look so beautiful on her way to the dance. 

It was a really amazing weekend home. I got to relax and spend some quality time with my family, including my grandparents. Sunday, we walked the Race for the Cure, which is always such a humbling experience. 

A week ago, on Friday afternoon, Christine, Emma, Mackenzie and I headed south of Boulder to go to see one of our favorite singers, Ben Howard, perform at Red Rocks. Emma’s family recently moved to a house just minutes away from the beautiful amphitheater, so we got to go hang out at her house for a while, where her mom made us the most delicious salmon chowder. We got to play ping pong, pet her adorable dog, and talk about life and the season we’re all in. Ben Howard was incredible live, but I was not impressed with his set list. He chose to play mostly new songs, and NONE of the songs that he is most known for/what made him famous. We still danced, sang to what we could, and enjoyed the time together. After the concert, Christine, Mack, and I went to Christine's friends house for some smores and we all had a great time. We got back into Boulder pretty late, but it was a Friday to remember. 

That next day, my parents came up on Saturday since it was technically "Family Weekend" at CU. My siblings were pretty busy the entire weekend, so just my parents came up and we drove an hour north to Estes Park. The fall colors on the trees were fantastic, and we poked around several of the shops on Main Street. The best part was how many Christmas stores there were scattered down the street, filling my Christmas-loving heart to the brim. I love when I get to have only child time with my parents, it's nice not to be interrupted by my non-stop talking sister. 

Casual deuces

when adults selfie...

#sororitysisters

And I'd just like to say again how much fun it is to live with your best friend. We are like two old ladies living together. We grocery shop and switch off making dinners, we go on runs together, we take care of each other when stressed/sick, we finish each others sentences, we watch documentaries together (highly recommend The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst), we borrow each others clothes, we make fun of each other, but still love each other. I pray that my future daughters (and sons!) all find their Mackenzie in life because it is the best.

We are non-romantic soulmates

Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. -Bride Wars 

Sweet, innocent, single. Have at her boys

I'm grateful for each day this year, and for the comfort that this is all familiar. It's so interesting to me how much changes in a year, but how you are always exactly where you need to be. I am loving classes, no matter how challenging they prove to be. I am loving Young Life, and budding leadership and ministry there. I am loving my friends, and our talks and laughs and cries. I am loving now, and each moment. Now is now. I'm taking what is, and carving it on my heart, carrying it with me, knowing that while I don't always know what is next, there will be peace, and it will be ok. 

xo

Hannah

Yes to Friendship

There's a whole bunch of things that I'm pretty terrible at in life. Sports, politics, foreign languages, bundt cakes.... the list is endless. But there are some things I like to think that I have absolutely mastered, making me the expert. One of those things is friendship. 

I LOVE friendship. Shoot to the moon, into the stars, love love love it. I am at the point in my life where I can really see the truth, value, and rarity of true friendship, and know it is no light gift. It should be treated as gold. 

In this past year at college, I learned a lot about friendship. (sidenote: how many times am I going to say "in this past year at college, I learned a lot about...."? too many times)

 I realized how much I had taken for granted my best friends in high school.

 I realized that friendship is not a given right, it is an absolute privilege. 

I also realized how the right people will come into your life for the right season. 

I realized that the best way to cultivate deep friendship is by laying it all out there, being truly vulnerable.

I learned that the same issues with people happen, wherever you go. 

I realized it's ok not to please everyone, as long as you are happy.

I realized that you don't need to apologize for honesty.

I realized I need my people.

I like to think of life as a balancing act, sort of like Jenga. Several blocks make up the structure, each a piece to maintaining the peace. I have the ability of choosing what each block is and its importance to the structure. For me, one of the key foundation blocks is unconditional friendship.

Lucky for me, the foundation has always remained.

In high school, I had the best group of friends in the whole world. I often think of our memories, but I also often only think of the good times. I talk about 5eva a lot, but you must know, before 5eva, there was more to the group.

I know some people hate “group” friendships, but that’s just the way things work, and honestly, I love having my group. I’m not at all opposed to having friends outside the “group” but I loved having my family, my home base, the people I could always come back to.

Anyways, our group changed drastically from freshman year to senior year. Freshman year, our group was much larger. We were all girls just entering high school, excited for what was to come, but also clueless. The friendships were superficial, as we were trying to become ourselves, but also become a friend. Insecurity was potent, but not abnormal for our age. By the end of the year, our group had decreased, comfortably.

Sophomore year was a big transition year for me as I said adios to my childhood best friend with quite the sting to the heart. But I was also so comfortable with some of the girls from freshman year that I leaned on them for support, and they loved me when I needed it most.

Junior year, we had really developed our solid group of friends. It was so convenient, and I really did enjoy each girl and their presence in my life.

Senior year, everyone did some growing, and 5eva truly evolved as just the 5 of us. This friendship was deep and real. We got to be closer than ever and held on to each other and each moment as we anticipated the big change that was about to happen.  

There were hiccups along the way, as happens with any friendship, relationship, interaction with other people. But in the end, the drama was minimal and natural.  I had my people, my group, my foundation.

Then came college.

No song truly captures the essence of college better than “22” by Taylor Swift.

Happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.

T God for going to the same college as my best friend.

First semester was rough as heck. I was happy (or at least I kept convincing myself I was), but I so craved the friendship that I had had in high school. I wanted to have my people. I kept reassuring myself I would find them, and that my happiness didn’t depend on that.

Mackenz and I spent a whole heck of a lot time together. But it was awesome and we got to be closer than ever (who knew that was possible).

I always worried a little about becoming Hannah, and Hannah alone. I feared that we would just be “Hannah and Mackenzie” but honestly, I feel like we are both our own people. While we do have a number of similarities, we have our differences, that in the end, complement each other perfectly. Plus, when it really comes down to it all, I would not be the Hannah I am today without having Mack. 

 Second semester rolled around and the best of times with the best of friends rolled along. I was filled with such shock, but such relief to have found my people. It was incredible to see how these girls differed so much from my high school group, but how they filled my heart in a whole new way. We spent many hours quoting “The Office”, dancing on tables in classrooms, making cupcakes at midnight, and singing “Mamma Mia”. We also spent many hours stressed, feeling lost, and simply trying to survive this first step of “real life”. But we did it together. And all the while, 5eva was there for me too, navigating the valleys and mountains, miles apart.

We all came from such different backgrounds, from all walks of life. But we were all in the same place. Life with them became as familiar as life with the four family members I had lived with for 18 years. I wouldn't have made it without them. 

My friends are my everything. They are my now, my hopes, my dreams, my future. They see me in my ways I don’t see myself. We carry each other, loving each other for who we were, who we are, and what we will become.

So this one goes out to you, my gal pals. Thank you for being my teachers and my biggest blessings. Love, love, love you.

xo

Hannah