Reflections of Then and Now

This really has nothing to do with this post, I just love the song. And it semi goes with my title.

Oh how I love these girls, Pearl Street, and warm winter days

The weather has been something wonderful lately. 60s, sunny, the air is fresh and slightly sweet, the birds are out chirping, there's a false sense of approaching summer. Really though, it has been great. I keep forgetting it is only February and the snow will come back eventually. Whenever I walk through campus, I feel like I am in this constant state of reflection. I'm always evaluating my life and what I can do to improve it but also how I can be happy with how it is. Sometimes I can't believe I am here. Each day shocks me.

Exactly one year ago today, I turned in my senior paper. The craziness was just beginning. I still had no idea where I was going to go to college and there was lots of tears while trying to figure it out. Days were filled with friends, Sonic, tennis, and that feeling that life as I knew it was going to be ending far too soon. Senioritis was in full swing.

And here we are today. I live in Boulder, have best friends that I love with all my heart, and am on a whole new level of independent. Yesterday I had three midterms, two back to back (and across campus, yikes) and I have one more this Thursday. I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day, never know exactly what I am having for dinner, live in about 90 square feet, sing with my friends in the shower (wow does that sound weird), and it's all up to me.

It's sort of insane how different things are. In these past six months, life as I knew it for 18 years, was completely changed. I suppose change is constant in life- maybe one of the only constant things- but these past six months have been like vigorously shaking a snow globe. Life is slowly settling back, but there's still little pieces of snow falling.

I really miss high school. I really hate to say that because I feel like once you're in college, you're supposed to think high school was the worst thing ever. But that's just not how it is for me. I was ready for new exciting adventures in college, and for some change, but I was never in a rush. I had the best high school experience a person could ask for. I idealize high school sometimes, but when I really think about it, I miss junior and senior year the most. My group of friends just kept getting closer (if that was even possible) and the rhythm of life beat on in sync to every move I made. There were hiccups along the way and it's hilarious to recall those now. In the end, the good really does outweigh the bad, since I'm always reminiscing the good. I just want to SCREAM to all the seniors who are counting down the days until graduation and saying they just want to be in college, SLOW DOWN. STOP. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT. LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!!!!

Mackenzie and I concluded tonight that freshman year of college is NOT supposed to be the best. Sure it's great, but... You're adjusting. You're trying to find your place. You're making friends. You don't even know what to do with all the independence you're just handed. When I think back on it, I did not love freshman year of high school. Things simply get better with time, and age. Plus who wants to peak at freshman year?

SO there's all my emotions for the week! Just kidding, I'll be back on Valentine's Day to share my truths on love and what it is and what it means. We're getting deep this week. Except for a happy High Five for Friday post because life ain't always about digging around and figuring out all the innards.

I do just want to reiterate that I do LOVE college with all my heart and am so thankful everyday for each opportunity and am so so so HAPPY! Probably the happiest I have ever been! Life is simply bittersweet. This post made it sound like I am miserable and hate life. False. Just a person who likes to lay out all their feelings on the Internet. ;)

xo
Hannah

May God Bless and Keep You Always.

disclaimer: some very minor spoilers in this post. nothing major, I promise :)

Thank you thank you thank you Braverman clan for everything. Image via

On Sunday night, I finished watching Parenthood. And now I'm blogging about it because it meant THAT much to me.

#PicturesThatGetYouChokedUp

You guys. If you haven't watched Parenthood, drop everything, go to Netflix, and start watching. YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!!! I hate to admit how much I actually love watching TV shows, but I do. I most love watching a show on Netflix, HBOgo, really anywhere I can stream all the seasons of a show at once because girlfriend can't wait around for new episodes every week. Since I am a college student, Netflix is basically part of my degree. I love watching a show and get so absorbed that I feel like I am a part of it. Parenthood was definitely one of those shows- I might as well have been Hannah Braverman. But back to the main point of this paragraph- go start watching Parenthood RIGHT NOW!

Now, for all my lovely readers who have watched Parenthood! Let's just talk about how it was the best show ever that should not have ended. I always thought Grey's Anatomy was my favorite show, and it is in a way, but Parenthood was the show that always had me tearing up and completely relating. Never has there been such a raw, authentic show about life than Parenthood. First of all, each actor/actress was phenomenal. Perhaps it was because they were portraying things that were REAL. And the situations that dealt with in each episode were REAL. There was no trees through body cavities or housewives killing husbands or vampires. It was so easy to get wrapped up in the show because you understood it all, you didn't need to use your imagination.

It's a really good thing my roommate wasn't back from the weekend when I watched the finale. I bawled and bawled and bawled. I don't cry when watching TV shows. I usually tear up and get all choked up with a ball in my stomach, but Parenthood has made me cry a steady stream of tears time after time. The finale made me sob uncontrollably. I completely lost it. I was the most emotional I have been in a very long time. I ended up calling Mackenzie (because what else would I do?) and cried on the phone to her because I was so flipping sad it was over and it truly felt like my heart had been carved out of my chest. Plus I really needed to instill in her that she HAD to finish the show ASAP so we could talk about it. I missed the Braverman's so much, I started hanging out with them again, on Netflix of course;) It's just not the same though.
 
I know I am slightly on the younger side of the Parenthood audience but I think that was a good thing in all the right ways. I understand how as a parent, you could watch and see how as Julia, Joel, Kristina, Adam, Sarah, Crosby, and the gang have the same hurdles and triumphs that you might experience. But I watched with the perspective of a teenager.  When Kristina was diagnosed with cancer, I only could imagine that it was my mom who was sick. When Hattie left for college and broke down in tears at security, I was in the process of deciding where to go to school. I pictured me as Hattie and had that "oh crap, that's how I would be" moment. When Hattie surprised everyone at the pizza parlor for a visit, I thought about what it would be like if I did that. When Julia sat outside the school all day to show Victor that she was there for him, I could see my mom doing the same thing for me.

I have a wonderful, close knit family to thank for all the great emotions I felt when watching this show. While sobbing on Sunday night, all I wanted to do was give them all a hug. Thanks to this show, I value them even more. Parenthood really does no wrong, guys. Except for make you FEEL! And cry! (if you haven't already finished the show, ahem Mack, don't click the link!!!) Please, please just go watch it. I freaking wrote a blog post about it's amazingness. That's how you know it's good (and that's also how you know I get too attached to fictional families).

May God bless and keep you always.

xo
Hannah 

My Life on the Internet

{via}

Blogging is a really strange concept. There's all types of different blogs- travel blogs, fashion blogs, craft/DIY blogs, food blogs, photography blogs, the list goes on and on. I don't really know what to call my blog, maybe a combination of all the above plus some. Mostly lifestyle, sorta journalish, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I have come a long way since my early days as a high school sophomore blogging (can you believe it all began THAT long ago?!) and I don't think I'll stop blogging ever. I will probably transition my blog as I transition through the seasons of life. My college adventures and endeavors plus the tips and tricks I pick up along the way, perhaps my life as a med student and a young adult making her way in the world, and eventually after that, my life as a doctor, and slices of my future family's life.

But it's weird. You have the audience, world wide. You sorta know who reads your blog, like your best friends and the people who have Googled you, but you don't know everyone. I remember in high school I found out that there was a whole slew of kids who I didn't really know who read my blog. How strange is it that we passed in the hallways and they knew my little stories? Then there's all the strangers and all you can think is "how the freak did you find my blog?!" It's cool though because I love other people's blogs and technically, we are strangers too. I guess the the neat thing about blogging is you feel like you have this friendship and create a bond with someone you have not met.

You also have the content. I try to keep things real over here, but admit to mostly highlighting the positive. I will be real every now and then and completely vent and scream about the negatives BUT only because I simply think it's important for my readers to relate and see how we all are human. There's a fine line between what I find to be too personal/appropriate to blog about and what is fine to share with the public. A major chunk of my life is here on my piece of the Internet, but there's also the things that go in journals or simply in my mind.

When it all comes down to it, I love to share. I love to write. I love to connect with people. I love to record the things that I know I will one day forget. My blog is my inner voice that begs to be heard. So I will end this slightly dramatic post now because my inner voice will sometimes get carried away by the drama of my inward emotions. Love to you all, readers of mine, strangers, friends, or foe.

xo
Hannah

The Latest and Greatest

Just a quick little update on life's latest happenings felt necessary :)

Lol awk I didn't get the "dress nice" memo

Tuesday night, I went swing dancing with EB, Emma, Courtney, and Melissa! It was flock night (a night where people from my hall do special events)  and we had a great time meeting more people from our hall and then dancing the night away. Dancing is for sure what we do best.

Wednesday it snowed and it broke my heart into a million little pieces. It was white out kind of snow and that snow turned into ice which is never fun. Luckily it melted super fast so I didn't suffer too much;)

No pictures from the party:/ but a beautiful view of the Flatirons!

Thursday, we threw a little surprise party for Melissa since her birthday was over the break. We ate cookies and brownies and played Cards Against Humanity and had a wonderful little celebration :) She was SO surprised, it was awesome.

Oh and never look up how many calories are in the food at Cheesecake Factory. The health cleanse began promptly on Saturday morning;)

Friday, Mackenzie and I had date night. We really wanted to go to Pasta Jay's, but the wait was 35-40 minutes and we were hangry and waiting wasn't gonna happen. So we aimlessly wandered down Pearl Street until we ended up at The Cheesecake Factory. Yeah, Friday night date night was a little more expensive than usual but we never spend money during the week and one filling meal is a treat since we are pretty much over C4C food. Fun story of the night: there was zero cars coming so we were going to run across the intersection, a big deal for us no-breaking-the-rules girls. I was looking down the street once more to make sure we were good and had just started to say Mack "this is how we are going to die" when I look over and see her on her hands and knees on the street. Insert wild laughter as I help her back on to the sidewalk. The curb was much steeper than expected so she fell and ripped a hole in her jeans and started bleeding like a maniac. No need to worry though, we got the blood out of her pants once we got back to my room. It was just too funny seeing her lying in the street I wish I would have snapped a pic. Aren't I a great friend?

Saturday night was girls night, my most favorite night of the week! We ordered Domino's and Boulder Baked and had all sorts of girl talk, crazy dancing, and watched The Other Woman. Guys, I love my friends so much it's actually crazy. We all just click and it's crazy how fast our friendship has grown. Love love love.

Last week was a crazy, chaotic, super fun second week back. I know this semester is going to fly by, which just freaks me out. I swear, the years keep going by faster and faster as you get older! In so many ways, college has taught me the importance of cherishing the moment.

xo
Hannah

Taking Stock//January

Selfie of the month

Making: chocolate chip cookies because us South Third girls need our sweets.
Drinking: coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Reading: "Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness" by Susannah Cahalan
Wanting: for the snow to go away. College has made me sorta despise the snow.
Looking: for houses next year. Yay but not yay. Growing up is weird.
Playing: Trivia Crack. I know it's so last month, but my dad always plays with me and I love to kick his butt.
Missing: home. Always.
Wishing: for a non-snowy spring. One can hope, pray, dream, and wish!
Enjoying: bathroom conversations. One of my favorite parts of dorm life!
Waiting: for Hawaii this summer! Cannot wait!
Liking: this music video! SO FUN!
Hoping: to be moved off the waitlist for the bio class I want.
Marvelling: over my positivity lately. Not that I'm particularly negative, just more rational
Needing: to finalize my housing plans for next year.
Smelling: my orange ginger body mist. I love all smells citrus!
Wearing: this simple yet elegant necklace. I haven't taken it off since Mack gave it to me! Thanks BFF
Watching: Parenthood. So sad there's only a few episodes left!
Noticing: how on top of things I have been this semester. Let's hope it sticks;)
Thinking: about going on a run. BUUUTTTT the icy sidewalks are making me gravitate towards no;)
Feeling: slightly overwhelmed by the future but in a good sort of way.
Bookmarking: this most beautiful birthday letter by a favorite blogger. Goosebumps.
Opening: cards from fun little friends :)
 
xo
Hannah

Songs of the Semester

Music is our universal language. While we might all have a different taste in music, we can all find a song that we can tap our foot to and dance around to. Music is such an integral part of my life and I feel like I blab about it all the time and get all emotional but yo, music is all about the feels.

Example: Last night, I was reminiscing watching my Europe video and the fourth song, "Now is the Start" came on. First and for most, that is my favorite song in the whole world and always will be. It has so many dang meanings to me. I think about Europe, I think about off periods my junior year, I think of drives to Sonic, I think about the future, I think about it all! I do this thing quite frequently now that I like to call "deep listening". I text Mack and tell her to deep listen to a certain song quite regularly and we then text about all the emotions. For me, this song holds so much value and I don't think it's something I'll ever properly be able to convey with words here on the blog, but I bet you all have that one song that makes you feel this way too.

While I was on break I thought about writing a post about all the songs that sort of composed my first semester. Because honestly, in college, I'm always listening to music. Walking to class, while doing homework, in the shower, hanging out with friends, just about every second of my day, I've got some melody playing. And the best part about music and emotions is how there is a song for every emotion! Music is magical in the way that it helps to convey the mood so appropriately. I digress. Anywho, here's a just few songs that I listened to lots first semester that got me through the big transition.

Ribs- Lorde

Thick as Thieves- Katie Herzig

Kiss Me Slowly- Parachute

Heart's On Fire- Passenger

My Dear- Bethel Music & Hunter G K Thompson

Blank Space- Taylor Swift

The list could go on and on, but these were just a few that popped in my head right away. So now we have a new semester and while I still listen to these songs, here's the latest batch of music! This playlist eventually will cover a whole year's choices in music, which I love because I know will eventually listen to "old" songs and will be flooded with memories of what my life was like at that time.


So there you have it, just a sample of my favorite music! I feel that music is very telling of a person (in a good way!) so if you really want to know me better, listen along;)

xo
Hannah

Footnote: Mackenzie just wrote a very similar post over here. I saw it last night while I was drafting up this post and couldn't help but laugh. #telepathy

2015 & Round Two

A beautiful morning back in Boulder // via

I'm baaccckkkk! At school and blogging. Wow what a wonderful break it was. I sure did soak up every relaxing moment there was. And I am so terribly sad it's over.

College has really made me realize how much I love home and my family and all that is familiar. I do love it here in Boulder. I love my friends, classes are interesting, and it's a great city. I wish I was the kind of kid that wanted to go back to school. But home is heaven for me. I knew it would be more difficult coming back this time around because we had such a long break but that still didn't make it easy. The first 24-48 hours are rough. It's hard enough to get back into the swing of school and that routine, but then I miss tidbits of home. It's just part of growing up and moving on and what not but it still sucks.

I have gone to all of my new classes for this semester and it's going to be a great, but very busy semester. I'm taking calculus this semester and though I'm trying to be positive about it, I'm not too thrilled to be taking it. Even though I took a year and a half of it in high school, it's a five credit course that has a horrible reputation (for good reason) around campus. Bio seems like it will be more interesting because we do some animal physiology, which turns out to be body systems- my favorite! In lab we will dissect a fetal pig and a sheep eyeball so I'm pretty thrilled about that. Especially because I have dissected both of those before so I guess you could say I'm an expert;) But we also have to do ecology and all that makes me think of is APES. Ick.  Music in American Culture seems like it's going to be fun- the professor is really upbeat and completely passionate about what he does. Then there's Disabilities in Contemporary Societies. It's to fulfill a core requirement but I think it will be interesting and I'll gain some perspective. I blocked my schedule this semester so I go for a few hours straight every day and get done earlier than last semester! It's so wonderful. Plus I'm always happy to be back with my girls. How did I get so lucky to have the best floor ever?

The start of 2015 had a slow and steady start. I rang in the new year with some sparkling cider and a big cyst on my ovary (tmi? maybe, oh well, it's really no secret anymore. just keeping it real over here) 10/10 would not recommend the cyst but it happens and it sucks but I got to be at home, resting with my dog, watching Netflix.  I started rewatching Grey's Anatomy and OH MY GOODNESS I forgot how much I love the show. I know, I know, it's such a dramatic non-realistic show but good golly it's good. If you haven't watched it than you can't judge! Watching it for the millionth time just makes me feel like I'm family with all the characters;)

Since I spent a good chunk of my time just laying around, my mind would wander, leading me to scroll through my Bloglovin feed and read all my favorite blogs. I realized something while reading most everyone's new year posts: the world really seems to love the new year. To many, it's a new slate, a fresh start, a time to be born again. Everyone wants to transform themselves and be all these things. January 1, I'm going to be the person I dream to be!

I really started to think about life and the new year and resolutions. Well what about the person you are now? I think the new year is a great time to reflect. But I think that there is something about simply being happy with who you are. Where you are is where you're supposed to be. I don't feel like one should have to completely alter to achieve a certain goal.

I'm not against resolutions. I for one want to run more this year and start to go to yoga. But I don't think resolutions are the time to determine how you will become your "perfect" self. To me, the new year is about self-reflection. It's about seeing who you are, why you are that person, how you go to be that person, and finding the beauty and value in it all. Life is a journey and each year is a stepping stone.

So here we go, full speed ahead. I'm looking forward to another full, wonderful year. New adventures, new friends, and new experiences!

xo
Hannah